


I've Been Looking All Over For You

by nightfallgoddess



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Boyfriends, Connor POV, Cute, Drabble, Fluff, Jude POV, M/M, beach, hurt Connor, insecure connor, mention of adam stevens, mention of daria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4163787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfallgoddess/pseuds/nightfallgoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''I've been looking all over for you," Connor says as he struggles on his crutches to where Jude is sitting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Been Looking All Over For You

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short drabble from 301 scene. I added a bit of my own dialogue, but still followed the idea of the scene. Hope you guys like.

''I've been looking all over for you," Connor says as he struggles on his crutches to where Jude is sitting."You know, you could have made it a-little easier on me."

Connor carefully sits himself down next to Jude, putting his crutches next to him. He glances at Jude from the corner of his eye. "I am on crutches, remember."

The other boy is pensively silent next to him. It's dark out, the stars shinning like diamonds in the sky, and the waves crashing against the bluffs in a soothing rhythm. This would have been a romantic moment if it weren't for the lingering tension in the air. Connor sighs.

"So, I don't get it. What do you mean you're not gay?" He asks. He turns to Jude. He watches as the other boy presses his lips into a thin line. Connor's nerves get the best of him. He hates this feeling. This small ache in his stomach that he feels whenever he knows something is going to go horribly wrong. Jude doesn't reply and that causes Connor to blurt out his worst fear.

"Do you not like me?." His voice cracks. The words come out more desperate than he intended. He thought that Jude liked him. When they had kissed, it had felt like everything that people talked about in the movies. Fireworks and butterflies, all that cheesy stuff. When he had asked Jude if he wanted to be his boyfriend, Jude had shyly looked up at him with a smile and nodded. They had stood on the pier grinning at each other, until Jude had lead up slightly and kissed him on the cheek hastily, a rosy blush appearing on his cheek. Connor hadn't been able to stop smiling for weeks. 

He really thought that Jude liked him.

Jude turns to him. "No. Of course I like you, Connor."

Connor's confused. "Do you not like me, _like that_?"

"No. _I do_. I-I just-." Jude closes his eyes. He never wanted Connor to feel that he didn't like him. Of course he liked Connor. He was Jude's best friend and his new boyfriend. He made Jude feel- whole again. After everything he has been through, the foster families, his father, Callie, Jesus's accident, Connor was the one rock that he knew, wouldn't wash away with the tide.

"My whole life, I've always been labeled as something. 'The new kid' or 'the foster kid' or 'the kid with the dead mom'." Connor winced slightly at the last one. Jude had told him what had happened to his mom, when they first started to become friends. He knew how much Jude missed her. Jude continued, "A-nd I'm sick of it. I mean...why can't I just be _Jude_."

Jude looks up at Connor, dark serious eyes staring into his. "I just want to be Jude for awhile." He turns back to the ocean.

Connor understands. He gets it, he really does. But, does that mean that Jude doesn't want to be his boyfriend. He voices his thoughts.

"So, does that mean, you don't wa-nt to be my boyfriend?" He winces. He knows he sounds needy and desperate. It just feels like he's losing Jude before he even ever had him.

Jude turns to him. 

''No," Jude replies automatically, then shakes his head slightly, ''No, Connor."

Connor's heart stops. He's hurt.

"Okay." It comes out more harshly than he meant it to. He finally feels like _Connor_. He struggled a lot before coming out. Denying his feelings for Jude and putting all his frustration about his feelings onto Daria. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He just needed to force himself to like girls again, to show his dad that he wasn't gay. But, that hadn't worked out as well as he wanted, and he's glad that it didn't. Because, he's happy. He's finally happy.

He reaches for his crutches. He needs to get out of there. He feels Jude's hand on his arm. The touch feels like it's burning through his thin sweater.

"Connor, stop. I don't think you understand what I meant. I- like you. I like you a lot. I want to be your boyfriend, I just-

''You just don't want the labels." Connor finishes.

"Yeah."

Connor lets out a small relieved breath. "Oh-okay, good. Cus, I thought-"

Jude shakes his head.

"No. I promise."

Connor feels Jude's hand under his and he wraps his hand around it. It's warm and soft. The touch sends shivers down his spine and he can't stop the smile forming on his lips. He feels a feathery warm touch on his cheek.  his cheeks warm, the summer breeze failing to cool it.

Jude scoots closer to Connor on the rocks until their thighs are touching. Connor stiffens slightly, but then relaxes as Jude puts his head on his shoulder. Jude's short, fluffly hair tickles his neck and cheeks and he can smell the shampoo that Jude uses. It smells like Jude. Like the beach and laughter.

Jude squeezes his hand and he squeezes back. They both sit and watch the waves move back and forth, the distant sound of the beach party in the background. But, in that moment, it's just them-just Jude and Connor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
